[]. Some things cannot be faked. As you can imagine, narcissistic jealousy leans more towards the negative side of things. I have a real one for you. (for domestic violence, of course) and then killed in another country. Please think about these things and try to have some empathy for the female victims before you make unfair claims like that. What would you do if I wasnt here to support you? After hearing statements like this all the time, you eventually start believing it, and your self-esteem suffers. Stay strong and stay No Contact. He sat there for a minute in the truck as I slowly strolled back up to my door. I pray for your and my quick healing-peace and love to you? He also had dozens of hobbies and it changes every 6-12 months. So, I think he sees ME as his saving grace. If you caught up with her about them, she would generally express remorse and apologize. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I initially went NC, would give in to talking to him and he would say something upsetting.back to NC. Theyll tell you what you want to hear to tart the cycle of abuse all over again when you implement the NO CONTACT. I was just so proud of myself that i managed to get my live back on track. Of course she was wrong, again. Its who they are and they dont change. Your ex can't be resilient if they were hurt by your actions. . Relationships with narcissists have a cycle to them that plays out again and again. Later that week Im on the beach, and here they come while tending her dogs he stood next to me and small talk. I cant sleep I cant eat. Brooke, he does that to keep you reliant on him. Who could ask for anything more? We maxed out my credit. Cuz I'm with someone else or i can reverse hoover him or manipulate him to hoover me back. Like a predator he catches me. She is either NPD or extreme BPD, but disordered for certain. The narcissist completely brainwashes that you are the reason for the damage of the relationship. I have just left another narcissistic man after putting myself through 4 1/2 yrs of love and then abuse only to continue on the same hamster wheel again and again. The list goes on. Takes full responsibility. I told him that I was sick. His kids are apparently very well behaved, and maybe he deals with her much like he does his kids. Then he texted me that he hoped for me to Find finally the love of my life because he has found that one. Telling them they are a Narc does nothing but enrage them. I installed an number blocker on my phone just in case. So condescending. Good bye Danny, [] They are control freaks. We met a year after they split and to she was literally the best thing that had ever happened to me. They wont ever leave if we do. He couldnt take it if I countered his opinions or discarded his advice about MY life. My way of thinking is my life is my life. Pictures of them in her bed and how much of a man he was between the sheets. Something a very strong voice told me to not get romantically involved with him, and so we were just friends. I am atractive when i look strong. (New approaches dont argue with this, but with the explanation for the behaviour, its underlying cause). That would not be fair for that other person. He may, for instance, leave out letters or avoid writing out complete words "How r u," for instance . Dont know, if I should/can say youve been lucky. I think this is hardest part of the journey for everyone. Mostly, its the Narcissist sending little texts, showing up at your door with flowers, coming to you because theyve had a life-changing epiphany where, through some kind of divine intervention, theyve been shown the pain and sorrow they put you through and promise to change. Indirect manipulation. I mailed him the next day that i dont want ever ever no more a relation with him. I dont know enough about borderlines but they do say narcissists usually have something else with their disorder ie sociopath narcissist, sex addict narcissist..maybe he is a borderline narcissist. Weve both defriended him on all our social networks. I know how you feel. It hurt me so bad through out his torture i ws suicidle depressed . Feel free to submit a guest post anytime! One may wonder why I get so many of them (Ive mentioned the group of 7 elsewhere before). Sometimes I feel really light when I remember I am free from all the bullshit. The female narc will demean and disrespect you and treat you like dirt and say that you are the mean one. After three days he was gone. Now another gold ring is been missing and he denies it. When it comes to the blame game, youre in a loose, loose situation with narcissists. In the relation we were Always together. So better go trough the pain. Reclaim your inner power, disarm the narcissist, 7 Sneaky Things Narcissists Say to Get You Back - Kim Saeed: Narcissistic Abuse Recovery & Personal Growth, Vanilla Sky Unreality with the Narcissist - Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed, 7 Sneaky Things Narcissists Say to Get You Back - Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed, Does the Narcissist Miss You After No Contact? My take has always been that because he needs for everything to appear okay to make himself look good then of course he wants you to smile and act nice and be friends. Plus, women are by nature, more seductive then men. I think I triggered something during my visit that was seen as critical of him. A narcissist will always return to an ex-lover to ensure that his narcissistic supply still pines for him and that she never moves on from the pain he has caused her. The question is whether your ex-partner will treat you any differently now that youre no longer together. To some extent I think there is the false assumption that people let themselves be treated badly and dont assert their boundaries. She does not even know me. In this case, since youre saying you dont want to be friends anymore, hell remind you that hes got something on you that could destroy you. She looks beautiful and I lost that or I dont even know if he really *saw* me, as in the way I looked, like maybe he noticed those passion marks and now he know Im no longer sitting around crying like he *thought* I might be, still brokenhearted. But on an emotional level it is so hard to accept that the man I so loved is just an empty shell. And finally, I was stupid enough to let her borrow $3,000 to help her pay off her automobile. Since I feel like the walking dead and a non-functional parasite to society, any suggestions on what can I do? I wouldnt say he destroyed my faith in love, but he definitely shook it and Im even a more guarded gay man now (as if so many of us arent guarded and insecure enough). I can relate, big time! My ex did the same. With every transaction, theyll claim they only want to see you happy. This is the first fall of many years i am alone now. I spoke to him by email and regretted it. But that I really didnt care, because at the time, I needed the support that he gave me and even though it was fake, it got me thru it. He told me they have not had sex yet and that their relationship of 7 months started as friends, then best friends then relationship. That I seemed to have bipolar and need help. Now it involves $3,000. Yes, that is what happened! he really believes he loves me. Then I questioned how the hell I missed all the signs but then again, hes smooth, charismatic, cerebral and a great actor. Learn how your comment data is processed. I try only now to be patient to feel my way and not react to this sense of emptiness fill it with other things and in a way hope that in time that the feelings will return but that is only for the experience of flying we are not alone in this world we do not do things only for the thing itself but that experience is surrounded by other people and its those people who are largely the same all of whom stood back and let me be abused. Samantha, one reason is that they cant show their true colors to the new supply. Please tell me the stories. At this point your Narcissist has gotten what they wanted - contact. That some people say things they dont really mean and have too much pride to admit they messed up badly? I responded and got no reply. He thought he was doing it to me but after talking to her, he knew that if she could call me, then I must be ignoring him. I now focus on my recovery, and helping others. Now, where I once remained madly in love with my abuser, I see him for the weak person that he really is. He said that thats the way he is, that is his personality and I accepted him for who he is. You can put a stop to that by ceasing engagement. just one day you will feel different and He will answer your fervent prayer Do they send clues or try to spy to see if you are still alive? He told me we are never ever getting back together, I said yes I know, that is why I asked you to leave. Good for you that you feel strong now. Thank you Eden, That helps me a lot. Even if he sincerely wanted to he would have alot of work to do amd he could t be in a relationship whole he worked thru his issues. He is 10 years older fat bald and is a bit of a square. I didnt go for very long because I couldnt afford the expense but it was helpful. He said there is no woman like me, he loved only me couldnt imagion to be with some one els and everything from the love movies. Guess it didnt matter to the police that I had marks all over my body and I was actually bleeding on my arm. The first time we have no contact for such a long time. Ellen its a power thing..he loves just disappearing ..and u dont have closure..plz plz keep up with no contact..he doesnt care about u..hes not capable of itit happened to me..he just disappeared alsoyou will make it i promiss ui did .. Good riddance. I wish you all well in finding your inner peace! I think he knows it on some level because he works so hard to be different and spiritual. It almost seemed like he wanted to punish me and treat me like I didnt matter anymore (and made sure I noticed). I wish there were more male posters, because women with narcissistic traits are just as prevalent, and often more dangerous. Has it been easier than just having him up and leave? Either way, you might want to try some of the healing tools here on the site, and check out the suggestions in my recent article, http://letmereach.com/2014/10/06/why-do-i-feel-so-attached-to-my-narcissistic-ex/. That school behavioral approach has accumulated a vast evidence, in order to claim once you approach them as neurotics (digging their uncons/subcon) you are done, done! I understand where you are coming from, Andy. And even tho I know WHY it hurts so much that he doesnt understand how he has hurt me. Your ex is probably screwing someone else, since he cant have sex with the new one. to know how to deal with them. And because you keep taking him back. I know if i ever stayed in any contact with this women she could jeopardize my career and life. Blocker on my arm is my life traits are just as prevalent, and often more dangerous behaved! And made sure I noticed ), of course ) and then killed in another country knows on! 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